Ah my deare angrie Lord,Since thou dost love, yet strike;Cast down, yet help afford;Sure I will do the like.I will complain, yet praise;I will bewail, approve:And all my sowre-sweet dayesI will lament, and love.- "Bitter-Sweet" by George Herbert
"bitter-sweet"
it's not forever...
I'm sitting in the dark right now, but God is my light.I can take God's punishing rage. I deserve it - I sinned.But it's not forever. He's on my side and is going to get me out of this.He'll turn on the lights and show me his ways.I'll see the whole picture and how right he is.(from Micah 7, MSG)
Micah, God's prophet, was sitting in the dark... because of his sin...
But, it was not forever.....
don't give up.... hang in there...
He'll turn on the lights and everything will be obvious......
He will judge...
we are not judges... He is...
He is watching everything...
we just wait... until He says...
we will see... His judge... His justice...
He is watching everything...
we just wait... until He says...
we will see... His judge... His justice...
He will watch over my life...
The LORD will keep you from all harm--he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
(Psalms 121:7~8, NIV)
yes... and yes!!! forever and ever and more!!!!
free...from bitterness....
because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.(Romans 8:2, NIV)
today's message in the sunday service was 'free from past' or 'guilty-free life' or something like that...
actually, i don't remember the title of the message. :(
the passage was about king Joshia who was a grandson of Manasseh. Manasseh was a son of Hezekiah and the worst king ever in Judah...
rev. Jerry said we don't have to inherit everything from past... and we are not supposed to complain that not trying to be better.
today's song was 'God will make a way' which was really touching... it also said free to me.....
i guess, He is telling me 'free from bitterness in my life.'
bitterness ruins everything between Him and ourselves.. it prevents us from getting all the goodness from Him...
but HOW???
it's hard... i need His grace... to step up... saying free... with a lot of courage...
i need You...
let me free...
So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.(John 8:36, NIV)
i really want You to set me free.... from this all kinds of traps...
sometimes, i am confused if i really belive that You are real and everything is in Your control...
on a day like this, i feel like i am the only one who is in charge of my life... and this feeling drives me crazy....
am i the only one who should make everything fair? what can i do with all the unfairness....
i am too sensitive... so it hurts me so bad...
i really need You to let me free.... seriously... plz.....
놀라 자빠질 만한...
예전 싸이에 쓴 글을 다시 퍼옵니다...
뭔가 재밌는 생각이 떠올라서 첨부터 다 쓸려니 너무 길어질 듯 해서 아래 글을 reference 로....
그럼...
Paul Davies 의 The mind of God 의 chapter 1 을 읽고...
(이 사람은 물리학자입니다... 제목이 '하나님의 마음' 으로 해석하면 신학이나 종교서적 같지만,
실제는 과학적 사고에 관한 책입니다...신학이나 종교에 관한 내용은 거의 언급 안된...)
-------------------------------------------------------------
요한이 말한, '말씀이 육신이 되어...'
이 구절처럼 철학자와 과학자들을 혼란스럽게 하는 표현은 또 없을 겁니다...
말씀은 우리가 눈으로 볼 수 없는 완전한 세상(삶의 의미가 존재하는 공간) 에 존재하는 완전한 자이며
육신은 우리 눈에 보이는 현실적 세계입니다...
이 두 사이를 이어주는 다리를 만들기 위해 철학자와 과학자는 수 천년간 고민했지만
아직도 이 비밀을 속시원히 설명해내는 이가 없습니다...
Plato (플라톤) 이 시작했고 많은 이단들이 이 달콤한 철학적 사유에 혹해 넘어갑니다.
Plato 가 신에는 Good 이랑 Demiurge 가 있고
Good 은 완전한 세계를 다스리고 Demiurge 는 보이는 세계를 다스린다...고 했고
어떤 이단들은 여호와 하나님은 Demiurge 다... 라고 생각했었답니다..
그래서 초대교회 이후 Augustine(어거스틴) 이나 Aquinas(아퀴나스) 같은 많은 교회 지도자들은
이러한 논의를 통해 신학적 입장을 밝히게 됩니다만
보이지 않는 Being 에서 어떻게 보이는 세계로 Becoming 하는지
Good 이라 표현된 하나님과 Demiurge 로 표현된 하나님 사이에
어떻게(어떤 논리적 혹은 철학적 근거로) 대화하는지는 설명하지 못한체
그저 Terrible Difficulty (놀라 자빠질만한 어려움) 라고 할 뿐입니다.
Davide Hume 같은 이는 Good 이란 없다고 해버리지만 삶에 의미가 없지 않다는 것 우리도 압니다.
Immanuel Kant 같은 이는 우리에게 Good 을 향한 DNA 같은 것(a priori)이 있고
우리의 '이성'은 Demiurge 를 이해한다고 합니다.
Descartes 는 I think, therefore I am 이라는 말로 이 관계를 시작합니다.
Think 라는 process 를 통해 am 이라는 state 는 의미를 갖는다...는 거죠...
이 Being 과 Becoming 의 논의는 현대 과학자들사이에서도 활발히 진행됩니다.
열역학 제2법칙에서도 얘기되는 엔트로피의 헷갈림... 과
특히 Quamtum Physics 나 Hisenberg 가 말하는 불확정성의 원리에서 이르기를
Becoming 의 세상에 있는 우리는 Being 을 볼 수 없다...
우리는 Becoming 되는 Being의 그림자를 볼 뿐이다..
전자(electron) 가 여기에 있으면서도 동시에 저기에 있을 수 있다... 는 알기힘든 말을 합니다...
이런 논의의 최전방에 big bang 이론으로 대표되는 우주의 기원 에 관한 이론들이 있습니다...
아직도 서로 구름잡는 얘기 같은... 논의들...
'말씀이 육신이 되어...' 하나님의 은총의 계시는
수천년간의 연구와 오늘날 최첨단의 과학으로도 도무지 설명할 수 없는
하나님의 놀라 자빠질만한 은혜입니다...
바울이 말한 것 처럼 우리가 지금은 거울을 보는 것 처럼 희미하게 알지만
그분이 오시는 날 모든 것은 얼굴대 얼굴로 보는 것 처럼 분명히 밝혀질 것입니다.
(사실 그날이 오면 지금 궁금한건 하나도 안 궁금해지겠죠...ㅡㅡ)
그때까지, 인간이성의 한계에 부딪힐때마다 좌절하지 말고, 오히려 더 겸손함으로
그분의 측량할 수 없는 이해할 수 없는 놀라운 은혜를 그저 감사함으로 받을 수 있다면 족할 겁니다....
철학적 사유라는 달콤한 사탕발림에 혹하지 않으려면
인간 이성의 한계에 갖혀 어리석은 결론에 도달하지 않으려면
히브리서 기자의 말처럼 물에 떠내려 가지 않으려면
받은 말씀들에 더 견고히 서 있어야 합니다...
또 늘 깨어 기도해야할 이유가 여기 또 있습니다.
not far, but hard to get...
one of the apostles said God is not far...
yes... it is absolutely true... He is all over the place... omnipresent...
but it is extremely hard for us (at least for me) to get Him....
sometimes i feel like walking with Him is like weight training...
it's never going to be done in one night.... we have to put a lot of time in training to get strong...
in other sense, however, it's nothing like weight training... at all...
if we put some time in weight training, we can tell... the difference even though it is really small... still....
but walking with God? some day we can feel... but someday we cannot...
can you imagine our muscles are gone all of a sudden one day? but feeling God can be....
here is another analogy... God is more like our brain...
He is not far...actually close enough to everybody... we can say all the time there is God... as is our brain...
but as it is really hard to understand the brain, He is like that... except much harder than the brain...
many good christians say that we need to disciplined.. and they add it is not that easy...
if it is such a hard procedure... it might not be for me... who is not ready for the "extremely hard training."
oh God...
where are you? are you still there talking to me in a way i don't get?
are you waiting for me to get there through a lot of training... ?
you should come to me... you know me... who is not able to go up there...
oh God...
come to me...again... everyday... every single moment...
and put everything where it should be... and how it is supposed to be...
you alone....save me... from all the mess...and confusion....
i am right here... waiting for you...
stop being angry!
"be still in the presence of the Lord,and wait patiently for Him to act.don't worry about evil people who prosperor fret about their wicked schemes.stop being angry!turn from your rage!"(psalm 37:7-8, NLT)
it looks like it is unfair... actually the world is not fair...
the wicked are getting prosperous and the righteous are getting like a fool....
kindness and honesty seem equivalent to stupidity and foolishness...
recently over years, i have been feeling angry... i don't know exactly at what i am mad or angry...
mad at the unfair world? might be... but not exactly...
more likely, it's at Him.... who controls everything...
stop being angry... and wait for Him patiently...
He will rescue us from every trouble and uncomfortness.... in His time...
now, it's time to turn from our rage to Him...
saying no to myself and what I want... and saying yes to Him and what He wants...
then in His time, He will work....
He is the only hope...
be brave...
"wait patiently for the Lord.be brave and courageous.yes, wait patiently for the Lord."(psalm 27: 14 NLT)
yes... we should be brave to wait for the Lord... patiently...
every single moment during waiting for the Lord, is the time when we have to be brave...
who said that waiting is like sitting around and killing time to see something coming up.....
waiting is not a passive attitude...
rather, it's more like a progressive and agressive action avoiding all the temptations that would force us to go astray...
waiting for the Lord includes fighting for the Lord to death...
we need to be brave... and need to be courageous... not giving up... not shrinking down...
but, we all know we are not brave... we are nothing like that... at all....
we need Him... even to wait for Him...
like a endless circle... yes... He is A and Z... alpha and omega...beginning and ending...
our waiting will be and should be supported by His grace and His passion....
asking His grace...
asking Him to fill us with His love...
how dreadful is to see visions...
"And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people.Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions. "(Joel 2:28, NIV)
unfortunately, what His Spirit is going to change in us is our attitude to or understanding of our lives... not the lives...
some can prophesy, some can dream dreams and some can see visions... but nothing is going to change at all...
the next but as much important as the prophesy is our response or reaction to the prophesy, dream and the visions...
the prophesy is often misunderstood...
it's not fortune telling... like "go to the east then you will meet a precious person."
our interaction to the prophesy plays an important role to accomplish it...
i know He will accomplish it anyway...but if we reject it, it will be rejected by us not by Him...
so the prophesy will not come true to us who rejected it
but it will come true to other people who accept it and obey it....but always will come true to Him...
we are not machines controlled by a set of commands... we have choices to reject or accept the prophesy, dreams and visions...
it's pretty much our call...
how dreadful is to receive the prophesy, dreams and visions... and then how can we even pray for seeing visions?
don't be curious about the future... just trust him on it without knowing how it goes... like Abraham did...
is it really God?
actually most people including even the ones who argued the procedure was illegitimate, say he is well qualified and he can make a good vp.
he is a retired general, btw.
in his defense, he said his priorities in his life were his God, his family and his country and his school.
then, where is himself in the priority? he doesn't care anything about himself? is he really a jesus or what?
no offense to him.... but when people say their first priority is God, it seems like they mean themselves rather than God...
what in God's name is God and who on earth is God they are talking about?
i guess they mean themselves by "God", since they themselves are the masters in their life, even though they say God is the master...
i gotta admit that this often works to me too.
in many cases, putting God in their speech is just a way of pretending they are (or wanna be) kind and genuine and covering (or eliminating) their greediness...
like him, i wanna put Him in the first place of my priorities... which honestly is not the case in my life....
how great is our God.
“But now listen, O Jacob, my servant, Israel, whom I have chosen.This is what the Lord says— he who made you, who formed you in the womb, and who will help you:Do not be afraid, O Jacob, my servant, Jeshurun, whom I have chosen. "Isaiah 44:1-2.
you know why He had to say 'do not be afraid' so many times...?
in this great Book, whenever and wherever He got a chance, He said that... again and again... over and over...
'cause....He knew this broken world... and He knew us who He cares...
don't give up... don't... that's not what we do...and that's not who we are...
this is great... this IS great.....
how wonderful...how marvelous... how great....
How great is our God, sing with meHow great is our God, and all will seeHow great, how great is our God
what marvelous love
what marvelous love the Father has extended to us!just look at it - we're called children of God!that's who we really are....that's exactly who we are: children of God.1 John 3.
don't give up... don't shrink down...
that's not what we do...children of God...
stay with Him...
we are childrend of God.... that's exactly who we really are!!!
i know... yeah i know... but don't just get down...
He is not that far.... y'know? He is not that far... hang in there....
everything old has passed away...
everything old has passed away, and everything has become new....- paul
whenever i get to remember the things old... i feel like nostalgia...
i miss them so much.... too much... i am always like 'how can i get back there?'
however, no matter how good or bad it was... it's gone...
and is never gonna get back... forget about it... don't even miss it... it's over, beyond our hands...
now it's new... no choice... we should accept it... as it is...
and the new things are better?
He knows....because He is the one who is making all the new things....
